As I was preparing to go back to work, I had this grand plan in my head. Henry was still waking up once or twice a night, but I figured this was a manageable schedule for when I'd be back to work. Marathon training was going OK, considering, and we finally had our childcare situation lined up. I was going to be able to balance a career, my family, and maintaining an active, healthy lifestyle. I was going to be a Supermom. I'm now in the middle of my 4th week back to work, and boy am I pooped. Henry has regressed back to every 3 hour feedings, and we've consistently been up 3-5 times a night. Twice a night seems to be a welcome rarity. By the time I get done with an 8-10 hour day at work, I'm totally beat, and given that Henry needs to make up for lost time on the boob, I'm constantly feeding him. My visions of evening runs with the stroller have turned into mommy-baby naptime.
Last Friday, Henry was up 5 times overnight. By morning, I was SO tired. All I wanted was for Steve to say, "Here, honey, I've got this one. I'll go get him a bottle." Instead, he poked me and informed me the baby was hungry again. I got up 20 minutes early to throw supper in the crock pot only to discover I left the tubing to my breast pump at work and would be pumping with the hand pump so Henry had food to take to daycare. So much for those extra 20 minutes. By the time I got to work late, crabby, tired, and at the end of my rope, I thought, "Hmm. I'm still hungry." That's when I realized I had forgotten to eat breakfast. I haven't forgotten to eat breakfast in 30 years. Of course then he had a great weekend equipped with a happy demeanor and lots of giggles and naps with mommy. I started the week rejuvinated, but I'm already back to needing a mid-morning caffeine fix...
I've been getting in my long runs on the weekends, but there has been a serious hole in the rest of my training. My 18 miler 2 weeks ago went really well, but my 20 miler a week ago wasn't so pretty. I'm a little nervous how the marathon will go this weekend. I'm just going to have to focus on hanging out with people at the back of the pack and enjoying myself. It's the only way I'll get through the last 6 miles.
On a brighter note, being back at work has been going OK aside from the serious sleep deprivation. I bounced back faster than I thought I would, and although I don't have as much time at the end of the day to socialize (I'm running out the door to make it pick up Henry), I do enjoy seeing my coworkers again. I'm also back to a weight that I've been before. Granted it's a weight that I usually see at the end of an overindulgent winter, but it's relieving to at least fit into my "fat" pre-pregnancy clothes. I've got another 6 or 7 pounds to lose, but I know I need to be patient. I worried so much going back to work that I couldn't find any clothes to buy, but it has turned out that I've been OK wearing some carefully selected items from my own closet. In the last couple of weeks, I've been catching glimpses of myself in the mirror and have noticed that I'm getting my waist back! Last but not least, Henry's demeanor is getting MUCH better, and we can at least lay him on the floor to play for a few minutes here and there. We used to have to hold him constantly, and even then, he cried all of the time. It's amazing how much you can get done in 10 minutes without a baby in your arms! We still haven't figured out his tummy troubles. We're seeing a pediatric gastroentrologist on Friday. I'm currently off of all dairy, soy, and wheat products. At times it's really hard, especially since it means we have to cook all of our food at home, but I keep telling myself that lots of fruits and veggies, lean meats, and nuts is really how I should be eating anyway. I haven't been perfect and have snuck in a baked good here or there (I'm hungry ALL of the time and have a whole mouth full of sweet teeth), but overall, it's going better than I thought it would. Henry hasn't had a bloody poo since last Thursday. It's hard to say whether it's sheer coincidence that his demeanor is getting better since getting rid of wheat and soy or whether it's making a difference...
Steve's been putting in crazy hours at work, but some of that is starting to work itsself out. Hopefully in the next couple of weeks, I won't need a daily afternoon nap. Henry will continue to be happy enough to take out in the stroller, and Steve and I can take shifts in the evenings so the other one can get out and get in a workout. In the meantime, I'm running a freaking marathon this weekend! It's been my dream since I signed up to put a sign on our stroller in the cheering section that says, "I did this last year." I'll be back next week with a race report!
Season of love
13 hours ago