Still Tired...
It's been a week, but the fatigue has not yet let up. Work was really crazy this week. The pharmacist I am working with on my residency took the week off, so I was in charge of the 18 surgical ICU patients plus one pharmacy student all by myself. I had more than one 10 hour day. It was draining mentally and emotionally. I went in one day, and my eyes welled up. We had one patient who was in a bad accident, and his family had decided to withdraw support (they knew it was what he wanted). Anyway, all day he had a piece of paper sitting on his chest. It was a poem talking about how today he is going to Heaven. It's just so hard to work up there sometimes. That same day, we had a patient who was in for the second time in a month. I guess the first major accident didn't teach him a lesson. Why can't people realize that second chances are rare?!? I just wanted to shake him.
My workouts didn't go exactly according to plan this week. I knew it could even be harmful if I trained hard when I felt so drained. I still managed to get in some key workouts. I went to the lake for a 1 mile swim on Friday evening. I had hoped to make it longer, but it seems I was absent this week when our hot days turned into cloudy and 70 degrees. I realized when I got there that I probably should have brought my wetsuit. That was an understatement to be sure. My local YWCA (who keeps their pool at a bathtubish 80 some degrees) has conveniently closed for maintainance during my entire taper, so I will be doing all of my swims in the lake from now on. I hopped in the water. There was only one other guy swimming. All of the life guards had gone home. It was chilly, but I figured that once I got moving, I would warm up. I did, for a while. After about 600 meters, the cold started to set in. I had goosebumps. My head started to get cold. My calves got a little tight. I managed to swim another 1000 m before hopping out of the water. Guess the reduced fat me does not appreciate arctic water. I had my heat on high for the 9 mile drive home and had to take a warm bath to finally get rid of the chills. My 2 mile swim tomorrow will be in a wetsuit!
I don't know what's wrong with me. I read up on the posts of fellow IM MOO in training tonight, and it seems most people are crawling out of their skin now that they are on taper. I just feel relieved. Sure there's a lot on my mind this week, but the fact that I have to work out less is somehow comforting. Maybe that's a small sign of burnout?
There has been one other thing on my mind this week. His name is Tony, and I'll introduce you to him tomorrow. For now, I am going to bed, and I'm not setting my alarm.
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3 comments:
I think after training so much and adding to that a busy work life you are probably pretty normal to be tired and ready for the rest. YOu are ready for IM MOO for sure, the next few weeks are just about recovery and being well rested for the race!
Hey - I think probably you are a shade burned out, but more importantly you have a lot of "real life" happening right now, when many of us (well, I at least) am trying to insulate ourselves from real life. But your real life is pretty freaking important, and the things you encounter there and do there sound monumental. So I say - let the race come. The taper will take care of itself, and the things happening at work are significant and deserve your undivided attention as much as possible. I say let the race be part of the greater whole, and situate itself however it will. Maybe your taper won't be "text book" - whatever that is - so what. Do what YOU need to do, here and now.
You amaze me with your ability to work these kinds of hours, face these kinds of life-events, manage this kind of mental and emotional trauma, and still train for Ironman. That's utterly inspiring to me.
Peace SLS - hang in -
Thanks guys! I needed that little boost of confidence!
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